so it begins

I have been pretty bad about getting on here. So I thought I would try for at least once a week to have a record.

I am currently 8w4d pregnant with twins. I still can't really wrap my head around that. I honestly don't know how we are going to manage with daycare and if it will be better to have one of us stay home, but we have some time to work things out.

So thanks to some fellow bumpies I am going to steal their weekly questions:

How far along? 8w4d
Weight gain/loss: haven't weighed myself in awhile
Maternity clothes? i bought a few old navy pants that are super comfy since my ovaries are still enlarged, but the bloat has gone down tremendously
Stretch marks? not yet. lets hope it stays that way
Sleep? all the time if I could. i am so exhausted
Best moment this week? hearing the heartbeats again this week. Baby A is 168 and Baby B is 166. they are both measuring within a day of each other which is good.
Food cravings: none. i have been so nauseous that sometimes i can barely eat anything.
Gender: too early to tell
Belly button in or out? in
Movement? too early to detect
What I'm looking forward to: my first OB appointment on Nov 22
Milestones: stopping endometrin and being released from my RE

cautious but excited

So I can't beieve it, but IVF worked. I am about 4 w 6d now and have my first ultrasound on tuesday. The first step was the hardest. After POAS each day since 5dp5dt i started getting really faint lines. My first beta was at 9dp5dt and it was 326. My second beta was on 11dp5dt and was 681! So far so good.

Now I really hope everything looks ok on tuesday. I have been nauseous every day. my boobs are sore--mostly at night. And I am so exhausted.

I really want to start working out again, but I am nervous. the RE told me to not get my heart rate up until there was a confirmed pregnancy so I guess it is time to stop being lazy!! I am not going to go nuts though. Probably just more walking.

going crazy

I need to step away from the computer! No more googling. I am only 4dp5dt and I am driving myself nuts. I honestly don't know how I will last until my Beta on sunday!

Since I haven't updated in awhile I thought I would post my full IVF schedule.

Aug 27--began BCP
Sept 8--began Lupron 10iu
Sept 12--stop BCP
Sept 17-Sept 23--Lupron 5iu; Follistim 225iu; 1 vial menupor
Sept 24--Trigger at 11pm with 2 pre filled Ovidrel needles
Sept 26--Egg Retrieval--9 eggs
Oct 1--Egg Transfer--transfered 2 blasts both grade 4AA; 2 made it to freeze and 1 being watched
Oct 3--B/W--Prog 16.8; E2 400
Oct 10--BETA!!

So now I have to come up with something to keep my mind occupied and not overanalyze every twinge and moment of nausea! thanks Endometrin!

The IVF journey

So apparently I am a pretty good responder. It looks like I am going to trigger tomorrow night and have the retrieval on sunday.

Today I went in for my third check (fourth is tomorrow) and after 6 days of stimming I have nice thick lining at 11mm, a bunch of follies ranging from under 10 - 18. I think a total of 14-16, but not sure. They are pretty much all on the left side though which is a little weird. And my E2 is currently 1200.

I am starting to feel a little full and bloated but not too bad. I have been drinking lots of water and some gatorade so hopefully I don't get OHSS, but my RE thinks everything looks good!

I am really excited, but still worried that this might not work.

Let the sticking begin!!

I am so excited to get moving with this IVF cycle. I went in this morning for my baseline ultrasound and bloodwork. I have 8 follies on my left ovary and 6 on my right all measuring less than 10. So that is a good starting point. Normally I have 10 on each on CD3, but I am sure the Lupron suppressed a few.

Speaking of Lupron that stuff has practically wiped me out. I am so exhausted from it. So I am really glad I get to lower my dose to 5 units.

Tonight will also be the day that Justin starts his antibiotic. He will be taking Doxycycline until the retrieval. So he can take part in the self medicating this month! As for me I will be starting with 225 units of Follistim, 1 vial of Menopur, and 5 units of Lupron. this continues until monday when I go back in for a follow up ultrasound and bloodwork!

Let the sticking begin...

moving on!

We had a huge decision to make, but I think we made the correct one. I am talking about IVF. I can't believe it has come to this. I remember first going to the RE and when we left I turned to my husband and said how invasive IVF was and how I really hoped it didn't come to that. I thought it would be an easy fix and we would be on our way.

Well fast forward about 6 months and here we are. After 2 years of trying to get pregnant we will do whatever it takes, even break out the penguin posse! They are off to kick IF's ass!! I would have tried injectibles + IUI one more time, but i almost have 5 mature follies this last time. I am fine with twins but am scared of any more than that.

I am glad we were able to make such an informed decision since I have been reading up on IVF for a couple months. Plus all the ladies on the Bump have really helped by seeing what they are going through on a daily basis. They are very strong and the encouragement they give is amazing!

I still can't believe we are making this leap, but maybe it is a leap of faith that we need.

new beginnings

well my month of no medication has ended! I really was hoping that I would be one of those "lucky" people who got pregnant on their unmedicated cycle! Actually my husband did too. we went to a music festival on saturday and I told him I wanted a beer. He looked really sad and asked if I could have a beer. He said he was hoping that it would happen naturally and I would have to start injecting myself.

Honestly though I am excited to move on and try again. I am hoping this will really be the thing that works since I will have even more monitoring. I think the whole waiting until I get an +OPK was making my follies too big! I just hope I am not too big of a baby when it comes to starting the injections. Of course I will find out tomorrow!

I am really trying to see this as a clean start. August 1 was our 2 year TTC anniversary so what better time to really wipe the slate clean in my mind, right? I remember the days when I thought I wanted to be pregrant at 30. well my 32nd birthday is fast approaching. This is why I can't dwell on the past, but rather just live in the moment. I caught myself thinking about what week I would be at now if I didn't have a miscarriage. I can't keep doing that!

heartbreak

So i don't even know where to begin. This past week has been the biggest emotional rollercoaster that I have ever experienced. From the pure elation from seeing my first BFP and seeing the look of sheer happiness on my DH's face, to the devestating news that my Beta was going down and that it was looking like it would be a loss. I can't stand the fact that this happened and when I first told my DH that it wasn't looking good I just lost it.

Then when it was confirmed yesterday I just felt numb. I really don't understand. Why is it so easy for some people? I keep trying to see positive in this. At least we were able to get pregnant in the first place. That is a positive, right?

But now I am scared it will take us a long time to get that second chance. And who is to say that that one will stick??

cautiously optimistic

Hubs and I were going away this past weekend so on friday I decided to test just for the heck of it. It was early 10Dpiui, but i figured if it was positive I wouldn't drink at the bed and breakfast. The only thing I had at home were cheapy OPKs. So i took it and it was +.

So over the weekend I limited my caffeine (1/2 cup a day) and didn't have any alcohol. So when we got home on sunday afternoon I took another OPK and it was +. So i went to the store and bought a pack of FRER. I got a faint + last night and the same this morning.

I am still a little skeptical, but I go in for my beta on thursday morning. So we shall see!!

MFI??

So as I was resting after my IUI yesterday I received a call from my nurse. Apparently she told me that the RE wants to set up a meeting with us if I don't happen to get pregnant this time. Basically my DH's sample was a lot lower than the previous IUI and his SA. So she wants to sit us down and discuss our options.

She did say that there is a possibility of it working this time around, since it only takes one little guy to get to where he needs, but honestly how can I have any hope that this will take?

I really hope that there is an answer and that this last sample was just a fluke, but you never know.

IUI #2

So I went in for IUI #2 this morning. My lining was much better 9.1--last month I was at 6. So that is good. As for my follies I had 2 pretty large ones a 25 and a 27 so hopefully they aren't too big.

There were so many people at my RE's office today so it took forever. I actually ended up having to take a 1/2 day since I didn't get to work until 12. I was so annoyed waiting in the room with no pants on and a tiny paper blanket on me that I missed what DH's count was. grr.

But we go back tomorrow for the second round since my RE does Back to Back IUIs. So I will make sure I pay attention to the numbers then! I also am staying home tomorrow so I will be less stressed after the IUI and will come home and take a nap!

getting anxious

I went in for my Beta this morning at 6am and usually I get a call from the nurse around lunchtime to tell me the results. So it is now 11 and I am getting really anxious. I really don't think it will be positive since I did get a negative test already. However, there is that glimmer of hope that it showed up today and I am pregnant. I am trying to keep myself busy, but I can't concentrate on anything at work today.

I guess the one upside to a negative would be stopping the prometrium! But it really isn't that big of a deal. I would put up with that for my whole pregnancy if it meant I was actually pregnant.

But the wait continues...

not very hopeful

I don't know what is wrong with me. I was really hopeful once I realized that the IUI was pretty well timed. but now that the days to my Beta are closing in I am getting less and less hopeful. I guess it is a defense mechanism so that I don't get hurt, but I know I still will be hurt if I get a BFN. Also my temps are going up higher than they ever have before. Definitely makes me wish that I kept temping after FF confirmed O. I just can't figure out if the progesterone suppossitories are making my temps go up. And because I am on them AF won't come until I stop.

This is going to be a long week! I go for my Beta friday at 6am.

Let the blogging begin

After reading a few blogs here and there on the bump I decided to start my own.

I am currently in my 2WW after our first IUI and need something to take my mind off of waiting. Especially since I am now taking Progesterone Suppositories (awesome) and will not get my period until I stop taking them.

So I hope that this helps to keep me as occupied as bumping does.

And i will keep a running track of my meds. This month I am taking Synthoid and Glumetza daily, Clomid CD 3-7, Ovidrel, and now Prometrium. And I had a back to back IUIs 4/8 & 4/9.